A sober bride

Before I stopped drinking I would have thought going to a wedding without alcohol would be unbearable. While we are providing alcohol at our wedding and I am ok with doing so it does play on my mind. My dilemma is that certain people keep referring to the alcohol that they want to have served at our wedding. I know If they need alcohol to have a good time, then they have bigger problems than not enjoying our wedding but this does not make the situation any less stressful for me as a bride in recovery.


Putting being in recovery aside I would worry about the alcohol consumption at our wedding as I don’t want anyone getting out of hand or having an embarrassing moment. I want the beautiful venue we have booked to be respected along with people who choose to keep their composure. I have been reading alot about this topic on the wedding forums and have seen posts from people saying that not serving alcohol is punishing your guests for your problem.


I have heard stories from others in recovery who have had dry weddings and to my surprise in retrospect they have mixed feelings. Some saying that looking back on photos they see a lot of their guests looking bored and unhappy and now they feel guilty. Some still feeling that they did the right thing for them regardless of whether their guest enjoyed the wedding or not. What I am seeing is that the best way to deal with keeping your guests happy at a dry wedding is to let them know from the start that it will be a dry wedding and to own that decision.

Relationships are not supposed to be based around alcohol, not healthy ones anyway. I have learned this the hard way as my sobriety has seen me losing touch with many people who I would have considered my friends. Weddings are no different. Guests are there to celebrate you & your love, and should be happy to celebrate in the manner provided. If you decide not to serve alcohol at your wedding, whatever the reason, confidence is key, and those who cannot respect your decisions may have issues of their own to deal with.




One thought on “A sober bride

  1. We had that dilemma too for other reasons. Graham doesnt drink and didnt neccessarily want wine at dinner and was conflicted as to whether to have alcohol at all but i felt i would at least like the option. I drink so rarely i could almost be classified a non drinker too..Long story short we gave a glass of wine at dinner and let ppl buy for themselves at bar and we didnt have any drunken problems afaik. We had a good idea by our guests that they probably wouldnt be excessive so i wasnt worried. It worked out great. But it is a hard choice to make when theres any hardship behind the choice 🙂 we can relate x


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